February 25, 2026

As I mentioned during last Lord’s Day’s Sabbath School study of Jonathan Edwards’ book, Charity and Its Fruit, based on 1 Corinthians 13, David Stone shares about a homeless man who planned to leave a rescue mission one morning and commit suicide.  But on his way, a volunteer called out his name to say hello.  That stopped him and he stayed.

Later on, he told her: “You didn’t know it that day.  But when you called out my name, you gave me a reason to live.”

This powerful lesson was from Stone’s Focus on the Family “Pastor to Pastor” podcast entitled “The Art & Importance of Learning Names.”  You can listen to it here:  podcasts.focusonthefamily.com/show/pastor-to-pastor-with-dave-stone/the-art-importance-of-learning-names.  After offering how I have made good use of it, I’ll pass on some wise nuggets and tools Rev. Stone offers. Here’s the podcast’s summary:

Drawing from scripture and decades of pastoral experience, Dave explains how names communicate value, build trust, and open the door to deeper connection. It’s a simple practice with a profound impact, and reflects the heart of a Shepherd who knows his people by name.

Of course, this is just as Jesus the Great Shepherd of the Sheep knows his own people’s names and has them written in the palm of His hands and Lamb’s Book of Life in heaven (Luke 10:20; Isaiah 49:16; Philippians 4:3; Revelation 3:5, 12).

During my chaplain residency at the SD VA Medical Center, I have endeavored to ask and memorize the names of various nursing staff on my assigned areas, especially those with whom I interact the most.  This effort is always received with smiles and a mutual attempt develops to learn and remember my name.  It is creating a sense of team with “hellos” during rounds as I arrive or pass by, often now with the other staff initiating conversations, one especially earnest and eager for support on a personal project helping vets with PTSD.  The nurses seem pleased when I remember their names and they know I’m trying though a little shy and often bumbling.

I find myself celebrating this experiment and its influence, because I’m not very good at remembering names—I always joke, “I could never be a politician.” 

Stone’s New Year goal for listeners in this podcast was to get into the routine of becoming more intentional about learning and remembering people’s names.  He says that when you do, they will know you care.  It allows for a deeper fellowship to begin.  It communicates value and honor to someone.

This lesson came home to him after retiring from pastoring a church for 30 years.  He received thousands of thank you cards, and the greatest thing that stood out to him and his wife was a major theme of what people remembered as mattering most to them about his ministry–and it was this: as new visitors, when they returned to his church the second week, he called them by their names.  Stone joked that a pastor could feel insecure by this and lament that certain sermons or sayings weren’t what people featured in their main expressions of gratitude—but tracking with this traces what really touches people allowing them to be fed and quenched by the meat and drink of the bulk of un-named ministry.

Reflecting on this all, he said, “What I’ve observed is, by learning and saying their name and the way they prefer, it actually earned me the right to be heard.  They listened more intently because they felt connected to me.”

Stone continues,

Everyone loves hearing their name.  Never underestimate the power of calling someone by name.  Something happens when you learn someone’s name.  It transforms a stranger or acquaintance into a friend … which opens the door for a deeper relationship.  Simply put, we long to know and be known … Learning a name gives a person value.

Stone said this is the most popular topic he is asked to talk with church staff about.  And he admits it takes effort.  We need to work to learn the name of our new co-worker, the morning bus driver, the familiar cash register attendant. 

When he did so at his local Post Office, many workers responded to his invites to church events and services and others made prayer requests.  Where he frequents restaurants, Stone has the names of all regular servers written down on his phone as a “cheat sheet.”  He does the same going to his airport, and a Muslim lady working there who has not yet come to their church yet takes their calls and has leaned on his wife for support through some difficult seasons of her life.

“If I care enough to know their names, that might mean I care enough about what they might be going through at a tough time.”

The encouraging thing is this: Stone says memory is like any muscle, the more you exercise it the more you can do with it.  I’d like to pass on this helpful advice about how to grow in committing ourselves to committing people’s names to our memory that we might be meaningful ministry memories for them.

Four Steps of R’s to Help Remember People’s Names:

• Repeat the name of someone you meet deliberately during the conversation and at the end when saying goodbye: “Nice to meet you, DAVE.” “Have a great day, SUSAN.”
• Record the name and context of the person’s location in notes to be able to reference.  I carry a notebook during hospital rounds I can easily use also for this purpose.  And in the day of smart phones with notes applications, this is not inconvenient to experiment with.
• Review the notes of the names you record occasionally and especially while returning to where you are about to encounter them again.
• Risk it if you aren’t sure of their name. Try and explore if it begins with a certain letter.  Be playful.  People understand.  Then make your best guess.  It shows you’re going through the trouble to know them personally.  Go with your gut.  And grow from there.

These four R’s will add up to “Retain”.  You will remember their names.  And they will remember you and they might open up to learn not only your name, but the saving name of Jesus.

The Bible is full of examples where names are so important that God even gives a new name.  Like how the Lord changed Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, and Jacob to Israel.  Ands Jesus declared a name change of Peter to signify the bedrock importance he would have participating in the apostolic foundation of the NT Church. 

God especially makes Himself known to His covenant people by sharing his names, such as El Shaddai, El Elyon, Jehovah Jireh, and of course, YAHWEH.  (See our Names of God sermon series to review and retain these Personal revelations and grow in your caring relations with Him Who cares for you.)

In closing, let us reflect on one of my chaplaincy residency class readings this week.  Bessel Van Der Kolk recalls,

[One of my teachers at the Massachusetts Medical Health Center] Semrad did not want our perceptions of reality to become obscured by the pseudo certainties of psychiatric diagnoses.  I remember asking him once: “What would you call this patient—schizophrenic or schizoaffective?”  He paused and stroked his chin, apparently in deep thought.  “I think I’d call him Michael McIntyre,” he replied.¹

Semper Reformanda,

Pastor Grant

1. Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (New York: Viking, 2014), 26. ↩︎